When they were alone, He explained all
things to His disciples. —Mark 4:34
Our
Solitude with Him. Jesus doesn’t take us aside and explain things to us
all the time; He explains things to us as we are able to understand them. The
lives of others are examples for us, but God requires us to examine our own
souls. It is slow work— so slow that it takes God all of time and eternity to
make a man or woman conform to His purpose. We can only be used by God after we
allow Him to show us the deep, hidden areas of our own character. It is
astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves! We don’t even recognize the
envy, laziness, or pride within us when we see it. But Jesus will reveal to us
everything we have held within ourselves before His grace began to work. How
many of us have learned to look inwardly with courage?
We have
to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves. That is always the last
bit of pride to go. The only One who understands us is God. The greatest curse
in our spiritual life is pride. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are
like in the sight of God, we will never say, “Oh, I’m so unworthy.” We will
understand that this goes without saying. But as long as there is any doubt
that we are unworthy, God will continue to close us in until He gets us alone.
Whenever there is any element of pride or conceit remaining, Jesus can’t teach
us anything. He will allow us to experience heartbreak or the disappointment we
feel when our intellectual pride is wounded. He will reveal numerous misplaced
affections or desires— things over which we never thought He would have to get
us alone. Many things are shown to us, often without effect. But when God gets
us alone over them, they will be clear.
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