When they were alone, He explained all
things to His disciples. —Mark 4:34
Our Solitude with Him. Jesus doesn’t take
us aside and explain things to us all the time; He explains things to us as we
are able to understand them. The lives of others are examples for us, but God
requires us to examine our own souls. It is slow work— so slow that it takes
God all of time and eternity to make a man or woman conform to His purpose. We
can only be used by God after we allow Him to show us the deep, hidden areas of
our own character. It is astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves! We
don’t even recognize the envy, laziness, or pride within us when we see it. But
Jesus will reveal to us everything we have held within ourselves before His
grace began to work. How many of us have learned to look inwardly with courage?
We have to get rid of the idea that we
understand ourselves. That is always the last bit of pride to go. The only One
who understands us is God. The greatest curse in our spiritual life is pride.
If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we will
never say, “Oh, I’m so unworthy.” We will understand that this goes without
saying. But as long as there is any doubt that we are unworthy, God will
continue to close us in until He gets us alone. Whenever there is any element
of pride or conceit remaining, Jesus can’t teach us anything. He will allow us
to experience heartbreak or the disappointment we feel when our intellectual
pride is wounded. He will reveal numerous misplaced affections or desires—
things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. Many things
are shown to us, often without effect. But when God gets us alone over them,
they will be clear.
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